RICK SANTORUM'S DAYTONA 500 DEBUT UPSTAGED BY LATE ENTRY OF SEN. BOB CASEY CAR

Casey's car expected to be better by 18 laps

PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL REACTS TO GUS THE GROUNDHOG'S FIRING

"Second-most famous means first-place loser," weather prognosticator says. "Instead of mooching off the Commonwealth's taxpayers, he should have gotten a real job in the private sector, like I have for all of my 126 years. He's still young and he could do something else, but he better not think of moving to Punxsutawney."

GUS THE GROUNDHOG FIRED; PA LOTTERY OFFICIALS CITE ERRATIC BEHAVIOR

HARRISBURG - Gus the Groundhog, the Commonwealth's second-most famous groundhog, was fired today as spokesmarmot for the Pennsylvania Lottery.

The move comes after several weeks of very public battling between Gus and Lottery executive director Todd Rucci. Although Gus was known for erratic behavior and a messy relationship with his girlfriend, he was still the star of successful commercials written with him in mind.

"Rucci's a clown," Gus said today. "He's a stupid, stupid little man and I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I may look like a groundhog, but I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

Gus may file a lawsuit claiming a breach of contract, but has no other immediate plans. "Whatever I do, I'll be winning," he says. "And not because I'll be scratching off some stupid lottery tickets."

AIRLINE ADMITS MESSAGE MAY HAVE BEEN LOST IN TRANSLATION

WESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB THREATENS TO DROP BREEDS THAT LOOK SAD FROM DOG SHOW

"We didn't tolerate sad-looking dogs from Pedigree, and we're certainly not going to tolerate it in the show ring," spokesman David Frei says

NEW YORK CITY - As the nation's oldest dog show continues today, officials of the Westminster Kennel Club warned several breeds that they may be dropped for looking sad.

The move comes after the Club parted ways with Pedigree dog food as a show sponsor. The company's ads showed shelter dogs peering through cage doors, waiting for new homes. "Those ads were total downers," said WKC spokesman David Frei. "We're into glamor and happiness and collecting high breeding fees. Who wants to see the other side of it?"

Although the Club did not name specific breeds, observers believe basset hounds are at the top of the list. "They have the classic hang-dog look, which is really unfortunate for them," said dog expert Robert Brenneman. "In fact, all the hounds need to perk up a little if they want to stick around.

"Some dogs, you can't tell they're depressed --- komodors and pulis have all that hair, and you can't even see their faces. But a lot of the others better start thinking about doggie Prozac."

"We want people to think of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show as a celebration of dogs," David Frei said. "Some people may celebrate when a dog gets adopted, but we don't want to be associated with that sort of thing."

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: THE POTENTIAL TRADE FOR A. J. BURNETT

Media reports indicate that the Pirates and Yankees are making progress on a trade that would send A. J. Burnett to the Bucs. Who would be happier about this deal?

13% - Pirates fans

87% - Yankees fans

TODD HALEY SPEAKS ON ROETHLISBERGER SPEAKING ON HALEY HIRE

"I haven't talked to him," new offensive coordinator said today at the Steelers' training facility. "I've gotten a lot of calls and texts and emails from people around the league, both good and bad about him. Everybody has an opinion, as we all know, and they're letting me know what their interactions was with him --- good, bad and indifferent. I've heard a lot of things and I'm looking forward to meeting him and forming my own opinion."

STATE COMMITTEE CONSIDERS NO-CASINO ZONE AROUND GETTYSBURG

"It would be wrong to have a casino near the sacred ground that holds General Pickett's Buffet, t-shirt shops and the wax museum," Rep. Paul Clymer says

MEDIA, PA LOSES OUT TO EXTON IN NAMING RIGHTS CONTEST FOR ROBERT DOWNEY, JR'S BABY

"We thought we had put together a good presentation, but I guess they decided to go with the glamour of Exton," Mayor Paul Chwastyk says. "And Exton's a little farther away from Philadelphia, which is another plus for them."

BILL O'BRIEN NAMES GISELE BUNDCHEN AS WIDE RECEIVERS COACH AT PENN STATE

"She doesn't know a thing about running routes or pass defenses, but she can swear with the best of 'em," head coach says. "Our receivers wouldn't dare drop anything."

DICKENS' 200TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATED WITH READINGS, DISCUSSIONS

Most Americans planning to wait for the Cliff Notes version of events

THEOLOGIANS DEBATE INFALLABILITY OF PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL

"There's a general consensus that the Pope is infallible when he speaks ex cathedra," Vatican official says. "But does the same apply to Phil when he speaks ex oak tree?"

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: SIDNEY CROSBY'S NECK INJURY

Neurosurgeon Robert Bray announced today that Penguins star Sidney Crosby has a "treatable" neck injury unrelated to his concussion. What do you think of this diagnosis?

13% - I hope it works out for Sidney

87% - Uh, the last guy who announced he had a "treatable" condition, uh, didn't turn out so good