MOCKINGBURGH POLL: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE GIANT RUBBER DUCK?

A large inflatable duck, created by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman, is anchored in the Allegheny River now through October 20. What do you think the duck means?

13% - It's just fun art

87% - Clearly it's a homage to Clint Hurdle and the "We shower well" attitude of the Pirates

FATTY-FOOD PRODUCERS RUSHING EXTRA SUPPLIES TO PITTSBURGH

Research shows Steelers fans react to a loss by eating 28% more saturated fats; business analysts forecast a record year for profits

CHICAGO - The nation's processed-food producers were diverting trucks to Pittsburgh this week after the Steelers fell to 0-2 on Monday night.

Recent research from INSEAD business school in France shows that when a football team loses, consumption of saturated fats goes up an average of 16% among fans. But a loss in cities such as Pittsburgh and Green Bay leads to a stunning 28% increase in saturated fat intake. And for agribusiness, that means big money.

"All those Super Bowls were really putting a crimp in our profits," said ADM Foods vice president James Dammer. "This could be the year we've been waiting for. We're revising our forecasts for third- and fourth-quarter profits way up. I'm just glad all those drafts haven't been working out for them."

Local grocers are reacting as well, by adding extra meats into the meat case and keeping their ice cream orders high. "Normally at this time of the year, we'd be cutting back on ice cream since it's getting cooler," one store manager said. "But we actually ordering extra now. Well, except for Blitzburgh Crunch - we don't think that's going to be selling too well."

ADM Foods' Dammer sees one potential problem. "If they keep losing and the fans keep eating fatty foods, there could be a lot of heart attacks by week ten," he said. "I haven't checked the schedule, but if Cleveland's coming up soon, maybe the Steelers could get a win and fans could give their arteries a break."

STEELERS' FORMER OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR WALTON SENDS OUT TWEET TO TODD HALEY

"Hey T_dd Haley...where's the 'O'?"

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: ANTONIO BROWN'S CONFRONTATION WITH TODD HALEY

During the 20-10 loss to the Bengals on Sunday, Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown confronted offensive coordinator Todd Haley about the play calling. Brown later explained that he just "wanted to find a way to win." What do you think about this?

13% - Wish they had caught that on camera

87% - He speaks for the masses

STEELERS WINNERS AND LOSERS: PITTSBURGH VS. THE TITANS

Winners: The punter seems pretty good

Losers: Front office, coaches, offensive players, defensive players

20-YEAR-OLD MONKEY HAPPY TO DROP OFF PIRATES' BACK

Playoff monkey set to latch onto team tonight

PRESIDENT OBAMA TO RETURN TO ILLINOIS STATE SENATE TO VOICE OPPOSITION TO MILITARY ACTION IN SYRIA

Hillary Clinton declines to comment

MOCKINGBURGH SURVEY: GERALDO RIVERA AT DUQUESNE UNIVERSITY

This week, Duquesne University removed Geraldo Rivera as moderator for an upcoming panel on the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination. The university said that Rivera's mostly-naked Twitter post was "innappropriate and inconsistent" with the school's values. What do you think of this?

13% - It was the right decision

87% - Why'd they ever pick him in the first place? He was inappropriate way before July

STEELERS TRY TO REGAIN FAN MOMENTUM BY SIGNING ZOLTAN

SOUTH SIDE - The Steelers stole a page from the Pirates' playbook today when they signed Zoltan Mesko as their punter, and immediately began a "Power of Zoltan" marketing campaign.

"We know the Pirates are the talk of the town, but we're about to kick off the season ourselves," Steeler PR flack Robert Brenneman said today. "We don't want to lose out on making money - er, I mean fan enthusiasm - for our games."

Actor Hal Sparks, who created the Zoltan character in 'Dude, Where's My Car?" is expected to lead the first twirl of The Terrible Towel at the Steelers' home opener. "This is just awesome," Sparks said today from Hollywood. "Last year I got to throw out a first pitch, and now I get to twirl the towel. I don't know what the Penguins got going, but I'm up for visiting Pittsburgh this winter, too."

Other possible Steeler marketing plans include shark tanks in the locker room, player bobbleheads, and fireworks. Players will be learning the "Z" hand formation when they return to practice on Tuesday.

One thing the Steelers will not be co-opting is the Pirates' "Raise It" slogan, which refers to hoisting the Jolly Roger flag for a Pirate win. "We thought about using that phrase for the net that goes up behind the goal posts," Brenneman said. "But given that we seem to score field goals instead of touchdowns on drives, we thought fans might start using the term derisively."

PIRATES SCORE SEVEN RUNS AGAINST ST. LOUIS; JUSTIN MORNEAU HEADS BACK TO AIRPORT

"I got to PNC Park in the middle of the game, and Clint Hurdle told me they don't really need me," ex-MVP says. "But at least I got to see the cool way the city pops up when you come out of that tunnel."