MOCKINGBURGH POLL: THE 2016 PITT-PENN STATE GAME

In 2016, when Pitt and Penn State will renew their football rivalry, Joe Paterno will be 90 years old. Do you think Joe will still be head coach?


13% - Yes

87% - Joe will outlive us all

MIDDLE-AGED MAN WHO POSED AS LESBIAN BLOGGER "CREEPED OUT" THAT ANOTHER MIDDLE-AGED MAN POSING AS A LESBIAN BLOGGER FLIRTED WITH HIM

"That's just wrong," Tom MacMaster says

HATFIELD, MCCOY DECRY WVU FOOTBALL COACHES' CONFLICT

"Sure, I feuded with McCoy," Hatfield says, "but I never stooped so low as to try to dig up dirt on him."

HOMELESS AIREDALE "DISAPPOINTED" SHE WASN'T PICKED FOR GOVERNOR'S HOME

HARRISBURG - When Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett announced today he had purchased two Airedale puppies, at least one shelter dog was disappointed.

"I guess I'm happy for the other dogs, but I wanted to be adopted," said Kelly, a young Airedale from southeastern Pennsylvania. "The governor's mansion would be sweet. But really, I would take any home that would take care of me."

Kelly points out that she probably would have been better behaved than new puppies. "I know everybody thinks puppies are cute, but, geez, they crap and pee all over the place," the dog said. "I'm not sure the good people of Pennsylvania want all that mess in what really is their house. At least I would have waited till I got outside."

Meanwhile, Kelly is trying to keep a positive attitude. "Nobody wants a depressed dog, so I'll keep my tail wagging and hope someone comes along," the terrier said. "And maybe I'll find someone better than the governor. I wasn't that crazy about his position on Marcellus Shale drilling anyway."

TOM CORBETT SAYS HE DIDN'T ASK FOR NEW SUV

"I gave it to the state police commissioner, 'You decide what we need to be riding in,'" governor says. "This is a security issue to them."

RASH OF NAKED JOGGERS LEADS LOCAL WOMEN TO CALL FOR INCREASED PHYSICAL FITNESS AMONG MEN

"You'd think those guys would be in shape since they're runners, but sadly it's just not true," retired teacher Susie Messner says. "I'm going to suggest they hit the gym before they run naked."

'THE DARK KNIGHT RISES' LOOKING FOR EXTRAS TO APPEAR IN FILM

"Fans of the Batman series can experience the mind-numbingly slow pace of filming and earn $58 at the same time," publicist enthuses