HARRISBURG, PA - The employees of R. A. Nursery wondered aloud today if their boss, Richard "Dick" Angelo, had finally come up with the most asinine project he'd ever attempted.
The project involves digging existing plants from one area and moving them to create landscapes for houses that don't exist. Angelo hopes to build the houses in between the plants at some undetermined point in the future, despite having alienated all the local banks, builders, and government officials he needs to work with him.
"He's had some doozies before, but he may have reached his peak of asininity, if that's even a word," nursery employee Jack Dammer said today.
But others disagree. "I've been here a long time, and this doesn't even rank in the top ten," said another nursery worker, who asked not to be named Paul. "There was the time he wanted the gardeners to bicycle from place to place to save gas, not even thinking about hills and having to haul stuff. He's transplanted stuff by barely digging holes and then just kicking mulch around it. He plants in rocks and then doesn't water anything. Or he leaves water running all night long. It's a good thing we know how to laugh, because otherwise we'd all be crying. Or drinking even more than we already are."
Regardless of how the debate eventually settles out, Dammer has a firm opinion already. "He should just put his money in a pile and burn it," he said. "It would save all of us a lot of work, and he'd end up with the same result."
