MOCKINGBURGH POLL: WHAT WILL BE THE MOST COMMONLY-ASKED QUESTION AT THE NRA CONVENTION'S REGISTRATION DESK?

A) Does the Castle Doctrine apply to hotel rooms?

B) Do you want us to shoot the Pirates while we're here and put them out of their misery?

C) Where's Primanti Brothers? I hear they make a damn good sandwich.

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: SONG LYRICS

A new study of popular songs over the last thirty years shows that lyrics are increasingly narcissistic. What do you think of this finding?

13% - It wasn't like that when I was growing up

87% - Is this supposed to mean something to me?

HINES WARD REVEALS HOW HE LEARNS PASS ROUTES

Technique has proven useful for 'Dancing with the Stars' as well

BOYZ II MEN INVITES HINES WARD TO JOIN GROUP

"We don't know if he can sing or not," says member Nathan Morris. "But we wouldn't mind tapping into his popularity."

WOMEN'S RESTAURANT CREATES RISQUE MARKETING CAMPAIGN FEATURING BRUNNER AD EXECUTIVES

"If they can create 'provocative' female-themed drink coasters with holes in them, then we can create 3-D placemats suggesting castration," one owner says

DOWNTOWN - A recent controversy over an ad campaign for Papa J's Centro has led to a counter-campaign by an East Liberty restaurant. Feed the Earth, a vegetarian eatery owned and run exclusively by women, started its first-ever marketing effort to counter the Centro campaign created by Brunner advertising agency.

Brunner's ads and in-restaurant items played up the location's reputed history as a brothel. Ads suggested women as being "easy," and used "redheaded slut" as a drink name. But perhaps the most offensive items were drink coasters with strategically-placed holes depicting women, with suggestions of inserting fingers into the holes. Brunner president Scott Morgan defended the work, which drew criticism from local universities and PR executives.

"[Scott Morgan] thinks he's clever," said Susan Messner, one of the owners of Feed the Earth. "Demeaning women in sexual terms for amusement - yeah, that's really original."

Messner said she and the other four owners decided to fight fire with fire. "We started brainstorming ideas of our own. One of the owners is really good with origami. She folded a placemat just right so it looks like a male figure complete with genitalia. Then another woman drew caricatures of Morgan onto the figure. Now we're going put them out on our tables with pairs of scissors. I don't even think we'll have to write out instructions to tell our customers what to do."

Messner does not expect backlash from the marketing campaign. "I think our diners will really enjoy this," she said. "And if Mr. Morgan calls to complain about being castrated, I'll just tell him what he said: 'Creativity can be very provocative and very polarizing.' That should shut him up."

STATE CAPITOL STATUES EMBARRASSED BY PORTABLE TOILETS AT THEIR FEET

STEELERS FANS WONDER IF 'DWTS' IS OUT TO GET HINES WARD

"They put him in a white uniform like it was an away game, and then they celebrated Patriots' Day," one fan grouses. "Everybody knows they observe Patriots' Day only in New England."

PITTSBURGH - Steelers blogs and message boards are alive with conspiracies that the producers of 'Dancing with the Stars' were trying to knock Hines Ward off his game on Monday night's show. Although Ward danced very well, several key elements from previous weeks were missing.

"First of all, where was the black and gold costume?" said local fan Jack Dammer. They had him wear a white Naval uniform. He looked sharp, but it's like they were sending him into a hostile stadium for an away game.

"Maybe they were trying to get inside Hines' head," Dammer said. "They kept repeating the word 'patriots.' I guess they were trying to hint at the fact that we don't always beat New England in football, like we do to, say, Cleveland. Oh well, it didn't work."

Indeed. Despite the odd juxtaposition of a sultry dance and the song 'Proud to Be an American,' Ward and Johnson came in first place for the night with 27 total points. "It was a weird night with the dances and the patriotic music choices," Dammer says, "but I laughed when Hines said he 'made pillow love' to practice without his partner. I'm just glad he didn't try that with the Terrible Towel. That would taken the bizarreness of the night to a whole new level."