Weasels still willing to associate with Ben
HIGHLAND PARK --- Zoo officials admitted today that the zoo's elephants, especially the females, pushed for Ben Roethlisberger's removal from a educational graphic near their enclosure.
"We had gotten some calls from the public about it," zoo spokeswoman Karenna Kern says. "But the elephants were equally angry about his behavior, and they are the ones who really influenced the decision."
Roethlisberger's picture will be replaced with a photo of Mario Lemieux. "We like Mario," says lead elephant and six-time father Jackson, who points out that all his conquests have been consensual. "Of course, he's not without fault, either. Mario was also involved in a sexual assault case a few years ago." Jackson was referring to an incident in the 1980's in which teammate Dan Quinn was accused of rape, and Lemieux was in the hotel room at the time. "A lot of people have forgotten that, but not us," Jackson said. "But he seems to have redeemed himself, so we're OK with it."
There has been one unintended consequence of the change. "Now the [zoo's] penguins are mad at the elephants," spokeswoman Kern says. "The pens thought they had exclusive rights to Mario. We're just going to have to keep the groups separated for a while, because the penguins will get crushed if they try to start something with the elephants."
