"I put the ball right in the palms of his hands," God says. "At that point, he should use the talents I gave him."
BUFFALO - God made a special appearance in upstate New York today to address accusations that he let down Bills' receiver Steve Johnson yesterday.
The dust-up started when Johnson dropped a game-winning touchdown pass in an overtime game with the Steelers. Johnson then posted a tweet blaming God for the drop. "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!! AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW??!!! I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS!!! EVER!!! THANX THO..."
"First of all, I don't need Twitter to get My message out," the Almighty said. "I usually use more traditional forms of communication, like stone tablets. Some people will say I'm behind the times, but no one can match the billions of followers I have, Twitter or no Twitter."
"But as to the subject at hand, Stevie is the only one responsible for that drop. I gave him lots of talents; he's just not using them well. Even his coaches say he needs to concentrate more throughout the game. Who am I to argue with them?"
God pointed out that He will still love Johnson. "I appreciate the praise and thanks from him," God says, "and My children are always welcome unto Me. But if he wants an on-Earth example of football and holiness, he should emulate Troy [Polamalu]. Now there's a guy using all the talents I gave him. He hits people, he makes plays, and his Twitter account has a lot of insight," God said. "And as much as I hate to admit it, Troy's hair may be better than even Mine."
