MOCKINGBURGH POLL: WHAT IS AARON RODGERS DOING IN THIS PHOTO?

13% - The Macarena

87% - Some kind of questionable move he learned from Roethlisberger

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: BISHOPS' BETS ON THE SUPER BOWL

The bishops of Baltimore and Pittsburgh bet on the outcome of the Steelers/Ravens playoff game. If the bishops of Green Bay and Pittsburgh bet on the Super Bowl, what should be the stakes?

13% - A contribution to the other diocese's Catholic Charities

87% - Winning bishop gets to decide what the losing bishop has to give up for Lent

NOTE TO PACKERS FANS: IT'S ALWAYS A BAD IDEA TO ABUSE THE TERRIBLE TOWEL

STEELERS BEGIN PREPARING FOR SUPER BOWL

First task: Reminding offense of the difference between 30 minutes and 60 minutes

TOM CORBETT DISCOVERS FIRST PERK OF OFFICE

STEELERS WINNERS AND LOSERS: AFC CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION

Winners: Offense in the first half, Rashard Mendenhall, fourth-down stops by the defense, Ike Taylor, going back to the Super Bowl

Losers: Offense in the second half, kick-offs by Sushi, Ben Roethlisberger

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: SUPER BOWL EDITION

If the Steelers win the AFC Championship, who would you most like to see in the Super Bowl?

A) Packers
B) Bears
C) Referee Gene Steratore

DIPPY READY TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM IF JETS WIN SUNDAY'S GAME

"If I have to put on a Jets hard hat to prevent it from being put on Mr. Rogers or The Chief, so be it," dinosaur says

OAKLAND - Local dinosaur Diplodocus carnegii says he is willing to put on a Jets hard hat in the unlikely event the Jets beat the Steelers Sunday night at Heinz Field.

The vow came about after the mayors of Pittsburgh and New York placed bets on the AFC championship game. If the Jets win, an unspecified sculpture in town would have a Jets hat placed on it, and the video would be posted to YouTube. If the Steelers win, the Terrible Towel will be draped on an unspecified New York landmark.

"I didn't give it much thought at first, because obviously the Steelers are going to win," says Dippy, who has sported Steelers gear periodically since arriving in town. "But then I thought - worst case scenario - who would wear the hat?"

Dippy immediately thought of several possibilities, none of them pretty. "It'd be bad if they put one on Mayor Caliguiri. Fred Rogers would be even worse. And then I thought, holy crap, they could try to put one on Art Rooney, Sr. That would be cataclysmic. I think another meteor would come down and wipe out all life on the planet again. I've been through that before, and let me tell you, it is no picnic."
That's when Mr. carnegii decided to volunteer. "Somebody needed to step up," he said.

Praise for Dippy's offer came from all parts of the city. Even Mike Tomlin acknowledged his offer, saying, "He and James Farrior set the tone for their outfits," the coach said. "And if I'm not mistaken, Dippy and James are the same age, too."

FREEZE WARNING ISSUED FOR MARK SANCHEZ

POLL: 87% OF STATE RESIDENTS WILLING TO PAY OFF WOMAN WHO FELL INTO FOUNTAIN IF SHE AGREES TO STOP IDENTIFYING HERSELF AS A PENNSYLVANIAN

'BACHELOR' FANS NOT EXCITED ABOUT WIMPY WOMACK

He's crossed the line from 'sensitive' to 'wimp,' according to new poll


NEW YORK - Ratings for 'The Bachelor' have fallen precipitously as fans of the show have shifted their feelings from hatred to turned-off, a new ABC poll reveals.

"We thought he'd be a big hit," executive producer Eric Fleiss said. "There was that built-in hate factor from his first go-round, and we thought everyone would like his uplifting story of personal redemption. Apparently not."

Local fan Debbie Catalan agrees with Fleiss. "It was bad enough when he got a facial and had that mud masque all over his face, which was pretty wimpy. But bringing his therapist on was the final straw. Really? You need help with fifteen beautiful women throwing themselves at you?"

"I don't think it's a coincidence that he has to practically begs the women to stay, and that a lot of the women seem reluctant to accept a rose. I'm sure a lot of them are thinking,'Do I really want such a needy guy for the rest of my life? Or at least for the amount of time these engagements seem to last?'"

Producer Fleiss says "It's too late to do anything now; the whole show's been taped. I can't un-wimp him. But I hope fans will stay tuned for the return of Jake. He's not in therapy, and we're lining up a whole new crop of immature women for him to choose from, with an inevitable train wreck that fans are certain to enjoy."

MLK DAY MARKED WITH 'I HAVE A DREAM SPEECH,' REPAINTING STUFF

STEELERS WINNERS AND LOSERS: DIVISION PLAYOFF EDITION

Winners: The third quarter, Hines Ward, Ryan Clark, Ike Taylor coming back after being hit in "a sensitive area," Heinz Field crowd

Losers: Special teams, Chris Keomatu, the entire first half, leaving a live ball on the ground, Ben Roethlisberger

JAMES HARRISON FINED $75,000 FOR STRANGLING HINES WARD

Ward listed as questionable for Saturday's game

MOCKINGBURGH QUESTION OF THE DAY

Bill Cowher and Mike Tomlin met at yesterday's Steelers practice. Which conversation do you think took place?

1) "You know, I drafted Ben."
"Yeah, but you didn't want to."

2) "I have two Super Bowl rings. And you have...?"

BISHOPS OF PITTSBURGH AND BALTIMORE BET ON STEELERS-RAVENS GAME

10 Hail Marys, 10 Our Fathers at stake

NFL AGREES WITH RAVENS' TERRELL SUGGS; SUPER BOWL TO BE DECIDED THIS SATURDAY

NEW YORK - In a surprise move, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that the Super Bowl will be contested during the Steelers-Ravens game Saturday night at Heinz Field. The decision came one day about Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs declared Pittsburgh and Baltimore "the two best teams in the NFL," and that "the winner of this game will most likely go on to win the Super Bowl."

"We don't normally listen to what players say," Goodell said. "But it's impossible to ignore his logic on this one. It's the best rivalry. They always play close, so it won't be boring like some Super Bowls. I think it's an idea that has real merit."

Goodell acknowledged that many corporate clients will be shut out from attending the game. "Clearly Heinz Field doesn't have the capacity that the Cowboys' stadium has," he said, "and it's too late for us to snatch tickets from season ticket holders like the NHL did for the Winter Classic. But we invite all our corporate friends to come out and tailgate with the crowd in the parking lot. They're a pretty fun group.

"I'm sure Dallas will whine about losing the game, but that's just the way they are there," the commissioner joked.

Money may be playing a part as well. "We're in tough times, and the NFL has been hurt by the economy, too," Goodell said, echoing an earlier email. "By having the Super Bowl this weekend, we can save significant money by not holding several more rounds of playoffs. Then we can get a head start on the lockout."

MOCKINGBURGH POLL: SHOULD STEELY MCBEAM APPEAR AT FRIDAY'S STEELERS RALLY?

13% - No

87% - Thought he had already had some sort of unfortunate "accident"

ELIZABETH EDWARDS CONFIRMED AS COLD IN GROUND, BUT NOW BELIEVED TO BE SPINNING IN GRAVE

WE'RE GOING ALL TROY, ALL THE TIME!

Nothing will add viewers to this blog like endless stories about Polamalu


COMMENTARY - In a baldfaced effort to pump up our blog stats, all future posts on Mockingburgh will somehow involve Troy Polamalu. The Steelers safety is team MVP, the Steelers' nominee for the Walter Payton Award, and has the best-selling jersey in the NFL (take that, Ben Roethlisberger and Michael Vick!). Even the Post-Gazette jumped on his bandwagon with a January 7 article about Orthodox Christmas, when all of us are SO over Christmas by now.

So look for these upcoming features:

Troy Polamalu at the Farm Show: Now that his "Winter Lent" is over, which type of farm animal would he most like to eat?

Troy Polamalu swears in Tom Corbett as Pennsylvania's Governor

Troy Polamalu to emerge from hole in ground, make Spring prediction on Feb. 2

'HEALTHY LIFESTYLE' SCULPTURE MADE OF BUTTER SENDS MIXED MESSAGE

STEELERS WINNERS AND LOSERS: WEEK 17

Winners: Offense, Troy Polmalu, Mike Wallace

Losers: Short kickoffs by Sushi, the Browns, Ben Roethlisberger

ONE MAN DEAD AFTER SHOOTING IN BALDWIN

Dave Wannstedt not suspected

PENGUINS WINNERS AND LOSERS: SPECIAL WINTER CLASSIC EDITION

Winners: Ceremonial puck drop, singing 'O, Canada,' Fleury in the first period

Losers: Singing part of 'O, Canada' in French, Fleury behind the net, incessant chatter about the ice and weather by NBC