"In case you haven't noticed, there's a lot of good stuff in your backyard," local bruin says
SOUTH PARK - Pennsylvania's bears are expanding their range and are becoming more suburban, leading to concerns among state residents that they may appear in local backyards.
Since the early 1980's, Pennsylvania's bear population has quadrupled, and the bears are expanding their range south and west. At the same time, a poll by a hunting and fishing group shows that up to 74% of Pennsylvanians are OK with bears in their township or county, so long as they do not wander through their personal property.
"OK, so let's think this through," said a young bear who gave his name only as Bobby. "I'm supposed to be in your area for entertainment value or to add atmosphere, but you expect me to skip the buffet laid out in backyards? Really?
"In case you haven't noticed, there's a lot of good stuff in your backyard," Bobby said. "Bird seed is great, but we just love trash day. Even though we find your diets absolutely appalling, we appreciate all the fats you throw out. A lot of you people need to switch to more grains and fruits. Of course, we'd eat that too, so we'll still show up even if you eat better. I apologize in advance for the mess I'm gonna make, though."
Bobby suspects there may be one additional reason for Pennsylvanians' unease with bears. "The Game Commission says we're smarter than the average dog," the bear said. "I think that's the real reason people don't want us around. They don't want Fido's self-esteem to suffer."
