SOUTH SIDE - On the heels of head coach Mike Tomlin's statement that "we will unleash Hell in December," the Steelers today signed Satan as a free agent for the remainder of the 2009 season.
"To be honest, I thought I'd get a call from the Raiders or Baltimore, not the Steelers," the Prince of Darkness said today. "But I'll go wherever I'm needed. I'm ready to contribute."
Tomlin expects big things from Satan. "We don't know yet exactly how we'll use him, but we expect him to be disruptive in a lot of ways. He'll go into attack mode, because that is what's required."
Current Steelers, including Hines Ward, welcomed Satan to the squad. "I'm not sure he can hit as hard as I can," Ward said, "but I'm pretty sure he's not going to be complaining about having a headache."
It is still unclear what number Satan will be assigned. The Steelers are petitioning the league to allow a special number, 666, to be worn by Satan.
