Monday, September 17, 2018

CAMEL IN CIRCUS INCIDENT BLAMES POOR PERFORMANCE ON PREVIOUSLY- UNDISCLOSED ELBOW INJURY

Also said, "It was hot out there"

UPTOWN - A camel that become startled at the Shrine Circus yesterday blamed his actions on several factors, including injury and heat.
    At a post-show news conference, Bigby the camel said he had hurt his elbow in a previous appearance in Cleveland. "I thought throughout the week that my backup might have to perform instead," Bibgy said. "But I feel like I need to carry the whole circus on my back. I thought I could tough it out."
    Later, some of the other camels said Bigby frequently exaggerates his injuries to the press, and they privately call him a "drama llama."
    Bigby also said conditions inside the PPG Paints Arena didn't help him. "It was hot out there," Bigby claimed. "I was exhausted, and the other guys were worn down. They're all running around out there all day. It just got to be too much."
     Ringmaster Mike Thompson acknowledged that it was "A disappointing performance. It wasn't good enough, and we got a lot of work to do. Fortunately, we have an extra day of prep before our next show, so we'll try to clean things up and move on."
     Bigby agreed. "I think my elbow will heal, and heat shouldn't be a factor going forward," he said. "Our next two performances are at night."

MOCKINGBURGH SURVEY: THE STEELERS' LOSS TO KANSAS CITY

The Steelers lost their first home game of the year yesterday.  What do you think about this?

A) I'm even more apoplectic than last week

B) If we had this week's offense last week and last week's defense this week, we'd be 2-0!

C) I don't mind roller coasters, but I don't like them to crash at the end

Monday, September 10, 2018

MOCKINGBURGH SURVEY: BAD STEELER HAIRCUTS















Steelers running back James Connor debuted a new haircut on Sunday, with an odd combination of shaved and long areas. It recalls the Roethlisberger 'do of 2010. Which haircut do you consider the worst?

13% - It's a tie!

87% - Both their barbers should be taken out and shot

MOCKINGBURGH SURVEY: THE STEELERS' TIE WITH CLEVELAND

On Sunday, the Steelers could only manage a tie against the lowly Cleveland Browns. What did you think about the outcome?

A) I am apoplectic

B) I wish Ben had kept the extra weight and lost the interceptions

C) Only the Steelers could manage to make the Browns look semi-competent

D) The more things change, the more they stay the same