You can't really be both a Patriots fan and a Steelers fan
EDITORIAL --- When Jake Gyllenhaal went on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live,' he said he had become a Steelers fan, showed off a tattoo on his lower back, and told how he had received a Terrible Towel from a fan at a Steelers game. After some previous movie stars had dumped on us (we're looking at you, Siena Miller), it was thrilling to have this actor say some nice things.
But once the euphoria wore off, we thought --- is Jake really a Steelers fan? Let's look at the evidence:
1. Several times during the interview, he mentioned being a New England Patriots fan. Being both a Steelers fan and a Patriots fan is like saying you worship both Christ and the Devil. You can guess which one is the Devil we are referring to.
2. The Steelers tattoo is on his "lower back," according to the Post-Gazette. Isn't that just a polite way of saying, "the tattoo is on his butt"?
3. After receiving the Terrible Towel, he allowed his friend/bodyguard to use it to wipe his mouth after eating a Primanti's sandwich. Using the Towel in this way is an abomination.
So we're not sure we believe Jake's a Steelers fan. Celebrity Steeler fans are more in the mold of Hank Williams, Jr., not pretty boys like Jake. But he's always welcome to come back and try to win us over. Just don't mess with the Towel next time.
