"Those ITRR guys gave me the creeps," porcine symbol says
HARRISBURG - A 25-foot pink pig, Pennsylvanian symbol of government reform since 2005's infamous legislative pay raise, said today that he is ready to get back to work exercising his First Amendment rights after being tracked by PA Homeland Security.
Last week, it was revealed that International Terrorism Research and Response (ITRR)had been monitoring environmental groups and other peaceful organizations, including the pig and his handlers. Governor Ed Rendell then put an end to the tracking and ITRR's contract with Homeland Security, saying, "The pig was not a threat."
"Most of all, I'm relieved," the pig said today. "Those ITRR guys are crazy. Anytime you've got ex-cops from York and Philly, you just have to expect they're going to be thugs. And James Powers [PA Homeland Security Director] is no prize, either. Apparently he's gone 'whee, whee, whee' all the way home, because now, all of a sudden, no one can find him."
"I've been hoofing it all over the state trying to reform state government. I thought I'd be retired and rolling in mud by now, but I'll keep working for the people of the Commonwealth for as long as it takes."
The porker said he's felt targeted before. "Before Rendell lost weight, he'd look at me and make slicing motion, and that put a chill down my spine," he said. "But these guys are way, way worse. They're trying to chill free speech."
