Wednesday, August 14, 2019

GUS THE GROUNDHOG HITS BACK AT POST-GAZETTE COLUMNIST GENE COLLIER

"Haters gonna hate," spokesmarmot says

HARRISBURG - Pennsylvania' second-most famous groundhog reacted today to an article written about his work habits and girlfriend.
    Gene Collier commented on his lottery commercials, wardrobe, and his girlfriend, Gabby.  Not surprisingly, Gus did not appreciate the snark.
    "Maybe Gene doesn't follow my career closely enough, but when he says I "disappeared" for a few years, I actually had other jobs. I was featured in GEICO's 'Woodchucks' commercial. I wanted to do some more comedy, and that was a perfect vehicle for me.
    "Besides, I checked Collier's record, and it's not like he's cranking out articles every day. He posts something about a week apart and thinks that qualifies as a great work ethic."
     As for Gus' wardrobe, which mainly consists of shirts but no pants, Gus commented, "About the kindest thing I can say is that Gene qualifies as "rumpled." And I think I speak for everyone when I say he should continue to wear pants."
    Gus was less forthcoming on Gabby, who had appeared in commercials with him. "We remain friends. I'm happy for her success. Other than that, I prefer not to comment."
    Gus hopes the beef with Collier will end here, but he is prepared to continue the fight if necessary. "He makes fun of my "Keep on scratchin'" tagline, but I can use my claws for things other than lottery tickets. He should remember that."